You have probably heard the saying – about how all it takes to ruin a gallon of ice cream is a spoonful of poo. Well, the same is true out on the road. All it takes is one passive-aggressive driver to ruin the drive for everyone else. Here’s a video of one such Clover – my term for people who are to driving what high fructose corn syrup and canola oil are to good health:

The Clover was driving around 40 MPH – on a road with a 55 MPH speed limit. In case you’re counting, that’s 15 MPH below the speed limit and also about 20 MPH below the speed most people are driving on this road. (Most speed limits being a kind of de facto minimum speed on most roads; almost everyone drives at least as fast – and usually a little faster – than whatever the speed limit is. This idea that a speed limit is something like the maximum speed an airplane can be flown without risking a catastrophic failure of the airframe is one of the great  absurdities of modern times; it has underpinned a regime of  cynical, abusive enforcement that has utterly corrupted traffic law.)

Now, it is one thing to drive below the speed limit. Not everyone is comfortable driving even that fast. Sometimes, the vehicle you’re driving – or the load you’re hauling – may dictate a lower speed than the speed limit. That is not the issue, with regard to Clovers.

A Clover is defined by using his car to effectively force all the drivers stuck behind him to drive slower than the speed limit. He sees the tail forming behind him; he has to see it. If he does not see it, then he ought not to be driving at all since a person who never looks in the rearview mirror is by definition an oblivious and so dangerous driver.

He sees – but does not care.

Let them wait while he takes their time.

He does what almost no one would do outside of a car – as for example in the aisle of a supermarket. Few people would just stand there – or shuffle along – knowing there were people trying to get by. Most – almost everyone – would step to the side to let people get by. But put some people in a car and they will do essentially the same thing, probably because they feel safe – from repercussions – inside their car. In a supermarket, a person who just stood there, willfully blocking others, would get pushed to the side in short order. No doubt, many of us who’ve found ourselves stuck behind a Clover think of doing the same thing; i.e., executing a PITT maneuver and leaving the Clover spinning out and out of the way.

We don’t do that, of course – because we’re not crazy. But we do get angry. Chiefly because it’s all so unnecessary. What is so hard about taking a moment to pull off onto the shoulder so that the conga line you’re dragging along can dissipate and get by you? That is the nut of the matter.

Not the slow driving.

. . .

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