I got “pulled over” – it sounds so benign, like paying your taxes – by an armed government worker yesterday. Not because I was “speeding” – oh, the humanity! – or because I’d failed to come to a complete stop at a Stop sign or because I hadn’t used a turn signal or some other penny ante “moving violation” – but because I drove past a parked AGW who noticed (as he informed me after he “pulled me over) that my old truck lacked an inspection sticker.

The sticker that some people equate with a vehicle being “safe” to drive. And not-safe if your vehicle hasn’t got one. Or it’s not an up-to-date sticker.

Never mind that a vehicle with such a sticker may have bald tires and toasted brakes. So long as it passed the inspection last month, it’ll pass muster with an AGW parked by the side of the road – because the sticker says it’s “safe” to drive for the next 11 months. It can pass inspection – the inspector is required to pass it – even if the brakes are almost toast and the tires are nearly bald on the day the vehicle is inspected.

Anyhow, I got “pulled over” for this.

I pointed out the law to the law enforcer. The law being that old trucks with Farm tags are not required to display inspection stickers. Nonetheless, I found myself “pulled over” – never a pleasant experience and always a dangerous one – for us.

It is a common issue that law enforcement – as they like to style themselves – does not actually know what the law is. So I had to “pull over” and hand over my “papers” to a law enforcer and waste ten minutes of my time while he looked up what the law is.

On the upside, I did not get what they call a “ticket” – another term we’ve gotten used to using, much the same as a horse gets used to being saddled and bridled. A “ticket” being a demand note for money; i.e., legalized extortion. It is made to seem something other than highway robbery by not having the AGW demand you hand him the money. Instead, he hands you the “ticket” and you are expected – you are ordered – to hand the money over to the government, after some legal folderol. But the end result is the same. You are compelled to hand over the money. Handing it over directly to the AGW would be more direct – and more honest. It would cut out all the paperwork folderol.

But the forms must be maintained.

There was also some “safety” kabuki. As the AGW approached my truck, he touched the tailgate – to assure he’d left evidence of himself on my truck, in case I shot the AGW for “pulling me over.” They do this now routinely, apparently as a matter of procedure. It helps heighten their paranoia, apparently – always a good thing when dealing with us “civilians.”

AGWs are encouraged to be afraid of us. To regard us much the same as soldiers sent to a foreign country are taught to be wary of the “indigs.”

It begs the question, doesn’t it? Maybe they’d be less afraid of us if they didn’t see us all as “threats to their “safety” and if they weren’t constantly hassling (and mulcting) us over nonsense “offenses” and enforcing what isn’t even the law, as in my case.

The good news is I ended up not getting a “ticket” – even though he could have issued me one because I wasn’t “buckled up” for “safety.” Somehow, our “safety” has become a law enforcement matter, even when we are in no way constituting a threat to the “safety” of anyone else.

The AGW was cordial enough. If you disregard the being “pulled over” by an AGW, which is never cordial, no matter how cordial the AGW is because you are being explicitly threatened with murderous violence if you don’t “pull over.” It is not a friendly – a voluntary – interaction, in other words.

I wonder whether these AGWs ever wonder what it’d be like to be peace keepers rather than law enforcers? In which case, they’d have much less cause to worry about their “safety” because 95 percent of us aren’t criminals. Unless you think it is a “crime” to not have the required stickers (even when you are not required to have them) or are not “buckled up” for “safety.”

The problem is state has made all of us into “criminals” by criminalizing practically everything, such that it is nigh impossible for anyone to avoid having to deal with AGWs (and AGWs with us). There is always a reason to “pull over” someone if the AGW feels like “pulling over” someone.

It’d be safer – as well as far more pleasant – for everyone if the 95 percent of us who aren’t causing any harm to anyone never had to worry about dealing with AGWs, because there were no AGWs anymore, but just peace keepers instead.

 . . .

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