Some good news!

Mercedes isn’t just walking back its “commitment” to “electrification.” It is also bringing back engines larger than 2.0 liter fours in its ultra-performance AMG offerings after figuring out that people who buy such vehicles care about more than just performance.

Mercedes – and it’s not just Mercedes – made the mistake of thinking that they could sell battery powered devices (and high-performance AMG models) on how quickly they got to 60 but it turns out that zero-to-60 isn’t everything, for performance-minded people.

Dodge learned this also – the hard way. The “electrified” Charger that replaced the Charger with an engine is the quickest Charger ever made by Dodge – but almost none have sold, because performance isn’t everything.

Even for a performance car.

Mercedes came to realize this also. It took the V8 out of models such as the AMG C63 and replaced it with a 2.0 liter four that produced comparable power and delivered comparable performance – but sales drooped because something was missing. That something was something more than 2.0 liters and four cylinders. It turns out it matters what’s under the hood – not just what happens when you push down on the accelerator pedal.

At least, it matters to people who view cars as more than just appliances. Performance people are those kinds of people. They are people who want that an emotional connection with their car – but this is something that defies easy definition and that is why Mercedes – and Dodge and a number of others – stepped into it without understanding what they were stepping into. They thought that all that mattered – chiefly – was the numbers. How much power? How quick? They thought it did not matter how that power was produced and that quickness achieved.

Result? Boring, androgynous performance cars.

It sounds incongruous – but only to people who do not understand what makes a performance car appealing. Those people see 500-plus horsepower and zero-to-60 in four seconds or less and assume that it will appeal to performance car people. Certainly. But the mistake is assuming that is the essence of the appeal.

It’s not.

What is? Well, first of all, the presence of big guns, so to speak. A WW II era battleship is no match for a modern missile frigate – but there is something awe-striking about 16 inch turrets that a missile frigate cannot replicate. It does not matter that the latter can rain down more destruction. Just look at those guns!

Or that V8 – even just the badge that says so. Even better the V12 – the engine equivalent of the super battleship Yamato’s 18 inch guns. If you don’t get it, then a battleship is just a ship. But there are battleship people, just as there are performance car people and both are often of the same species.

Try to envision a WW II battleship stripped of its big guns and in their place, some missile tubes – and you will have a sense of the lesser appeal of a 2.0 liter four-powered AMG Mercedes, irrespective of it performance.

And that is why, despite the power of the 2.0 liter four Mercedes hoped would sell its AMG models, it didn’t. And that is why Mercedes is going back to the big guns. Or at least, bigger ones. The announcement just percolated upward that MB is going to ditch the 2.0 four that powered the GLC 43 AMG will be replaced with a 3.0 liter six and the designation will change to AMG GLC53.

An interesting thing is worth pointing out here. Mercedes’ model designations used to correlate with what was under the hood. For example, an E350 was was an E-Class sedan with a 3.5 liter V6. The current E-Class is still designated E350 but it no longer has a V6. It has a (drum roll) 2.0 liter four. And the interesting thing about that is Mercedes didn’t alter the badging to reflect the change – probably because “E200” sounds like something less than what you got when you bought an E350.

Which is actually true. The current “E350” comes with less engine – and less power than the no-longer-made E350 with a V6 had. The “E350” with the 2.0 four also costs more than the E350 did back when it came standard with a V6, so it’s a gyp on top of that. A dishonestly marketed gyp, to put a finer point on it. If the 2.0 liter four is so great, why not advertise that’s what you get rather than lead people to believe they’re getting what they used to get?

The answer is obvious – as is the reason why Mercedes is bringing back the six in models such as the GLC53 – though that designation is also cheesy in that “53” suggests there’s a V8 under the hood rather than just a six.

Still, it’s a step back in the right direction.

. . .

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